Don’t Panic

I just sent an application away to a university to look at doing Museum Studies.

I’ve never been the business degree type, I’ve never studied economics and I really just didn’t have the mind for maths. And all through high-school I kept dreading university because I wondered if there was work out there for me, or, if indeed, I was the type of person that anyone would want to hire.

And I still worry about that, really, I do.

And I am certainly not the type to shy away from any available job or work, no matter how menial or inconsequential. But I also really want to stay true to myself, for as long as I can, and to play to my strengths.

I dreaded the concept of university when I was younger because I was worried the only professionals who were really needed were the investors and IT development-types and statisticians. I was worried that I was just an old soul, whose interests would be supplementary in comparison with everyone else’s abilities.

And there still is that wee part of me, that terribly insecure, adolescent side of me that frets over thoughts like this. … but I know those thoughts aren’t true, now, and though I may fuss it was never as alarming as it was before.

Some of this concern stemmed from other people, as well. Teachers or family members or friends telling me I couldn’t get a job just writing whatever I wanted or, that a Bachelor of Arts doesn’t really do anything. So I tucked my little passions and preferences away, and went on my merry way, unsure of my direction in life.

And quietly, I saw other people developing obsessions, running off with their dreams like kites being lifted into the wind. And I wanted that. So, I decided I would go after it.

I like to write, I like to research, I like history, I like finding things out. So here I am, looking for an occupation that will cater to that. Doesn’t mean I won’t work in other fields to make money, or so that I can provide for my family. Mustn’t let my lofty dreams get in the way of practicality, but I feel as though I deserve to chase after what I want now, and I didn’t feel that way before.

… … this is all probably sounding really egotistical and like a shitty, poorly-structured self-help talk, yeah? Yeah.

But I’m just saying don’t let anyone frighten you into choosing something you don’t like. If you’re a bibliophile, or an artist, or a musician do what you love and work in between everything else. Because your interests and passions and obsessions are just as valid and just as useful as anyone else’s.

(And if it doesn’t work out, let everyone else in your life say they told you so.)

But be brave, anyway. Fill in forms, audition, put together your portfolio, write out applications.

You never know, you might get in.

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