pink minced meat

sweating in the sink

quick, put it in the oven before it

starts to stink

 

let the house fill with it

seep into the walls

sink into the carpet

 

 

eat until you’re satisfied

eat until you’re numb inside

 

 

 

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the strength of my own sexuality

frightens me

 

i become certain

that i’m addicted to porn

or sex

 

and then i wonder

after weighing up the evidence

 

if i was lied to

 

despite being undermined

trampled on

talked over

 

my sexuality rises

like steam

 

the heat of it

burns me

 

but it’s so malleable

and i can do so much with it

 

you asked

if i had any money

you said you were so hungry

 

i said no

even though

a quarter burned a hole

in my pocket

 

i didn’t want

to give you

a quarter

of what you asked for

 

it was 5:30 in the evening

and i had already been

catcalled

followed

and looked over

 

men had already

taken so much energy from me

by demanding

my number

that i meet their eye

 

that by the time you reached me

reached for me

asked me

for money

 

i was so tired

that i didn’t have the strength to sum up

what kind of man you were

or if you were someone i could trust

even for a moment

 

half a block later

i watched a young man

in a hoodie

fist bump another man

whose fingernails were black

teeth like tar

 

two grins, two cigarettes

 

and my body on the corner

waiting for the light to change

 

so when you asked me

for a dollar

 

 

i had no words

for how privilege had made me so tired

 

i’m sorry

so sorry

i know privilege makes you tired too