the strength of my own sexuality

frightens me

 

i become certain

that i’m addicted to porn

or sex

 

and then i wonder

after weighing up the evidence

 

if i was lied to

 

despite being undermined

trampled on

talked over

 

my sexuality rises

like steam

 

the heat of it

burns me

 

but it’s so malleable

and i can do so much with it

 

I want to love you (NSFW)

I know there are so many ways to love you. But my body will only allow a few.

I do not possess all the requisite parts to do all the things I want to do, to you.

I want to love you with your knees shaking, breath-taking, breathing through a cotton pillow.

 

I start to count. One, two. A list of things I’d like to do to you.

 

The worship comes when you do, melting tongue groaning, grunting. Crying, pleading, seeing stars in the ceiling.

 

I start to count. Three. Four.

 

With fullness, with thickness from your thighs, I’m inside you. Toys aren’t enough. I can tell. Desperation is a restless beast, rising / falling chest, feeling contagious. I want your warmth, your reach, your tenderness. Tender touches, is it too much?

 

Let your honey pour from you.

 

Let my body give all it can give you.

the same men

who say they’ll protect me

from trans people

in bathrooms

 

are the same men

who take away

my reproductive rights

 

who make birth control more expensive

even when i have a pre-existing condition

that is better managed

with birth control

 

the same men

who say

they’ll protect me

from trans people

in bathrooms

 

are the same men who’ve

touched me in a lift

without asking

who’ve found

my reproductive parts

with their fingers

without asking

 

a trans person

has never touched me

without asking

 

a trans person

has only ever

existed beside me

 

and if i had to choose

between those same men

in my bathroom

 

or a trans person

 

i would choose

the trans person

 

in fact

i think i always will